If I were to relentlessly spill out of my guts everything inside, would i be judged? Probably, but when things start to eat you alive, what do you do? Do you "snitch"? Even after years of sucking it up closing your mouth and being wayyyy to reserved? Who would cut me off, would i lose access and become entirely blackballed, if I havent been already. What happens to people like me who slip thru the cracks after being a part of a movement, an iconic part of musical history, or just history period. In a field that Ive admired, and longed for and starved and sacrificed for? That is so tangible and close to you one minute and then almost instantaneously removed. What decision were poor on my part? Or was i just a tiny piece of the puzzle that made it what it was, and thats it? Everything after anything of that magnitude is considered downhill, but even in the combative circumstances for me in the aftermath, I am here, I survived, and actually better than ever. I am seasoned and smarter, still honing my craft. My stories, my tales, my journeys, my encounters and affairs, have all drummed up this crazy embodiement of energy, that doesnt seem to be slowing down at any rate. So maybe "snitchin" isnt the answer, but yet just going with journey, using the lessons from my past to get me ahead in my present and to the future. Just a purple diva thought...